I don't have the definitive answer to this question. No one does.
It's a broad and vague question that takes a lifetime of experience to define.
We spend our lives being exposed to leadership, both good and bad, that ultimately shape our perceptions.
There's a reason history shines on people like Martin Luther King, Jr. and Mahatma Ghandi. It is because they refused to return evil with evil. Among the billions of people who have lived, people like them stand out because they stood defiantly FOR something while retaining their dignity.
I wonder what our country would look like if our leaders consistently retained their dignity and composure in the face of evil instead of choosing retaliation.